I said NO, but I stayed.
So what does that mean?
Does it mean that I wanted it?
Does it mean that I wasn’t strong enough to leave?
Does it mean that I just didn’t care about what happened to me?
I said no, but I stayed.
I didn’t enjoy any of it, because I wasn’t ready for any of it.
But, I stayed.
I should have gotten up and went back to my room, but I didn’t…
I should have called it a night, the second I became too uncomfortable, but I didn’t…
I’ve been asking myself every day since it happened why I stayed and I can’t seem to come up with a reason good enough to make it okay. Maybe I was curious. Maybe I liked the attention? Maybe I didn’t want to upset him by leaving? Maybe I didn’t want him to look at me differently? Maybe I was afraid to stand up to him?
But whatever the case may be, one thing remains the same.
I said no. I said stop. But, he didn’t listen.